"And for a small fee ... "

We all give stuff away.  It can be a dollar to a stranger, twenty percent to a waitperson for keeping your coffee cup filled, or just a smile to someone who needs the heck out of it.  But it's our choice.  You can avert your gaze from anyone with a hungry look in their eyes, leave the table with nothing but the bill, or keep your expression neutral.  Again, it's your choice.

In the world of writing, however, there are many out there who claim to be giving wordsmiths the favor of their lives to letting them submit to a publishing/producing opportunity.  This seems to be especially prevalent in the field of play writing.  Many so-called "festivals" allow a writer to send in a script ... provided that they also include a check.

Sometimes, the people behind the "festival" say it's to pay for a reader.  Sometimes, that person might even provide a written critique of your story.  Most of the time, you gain nothing whatsoever except the "opportunity" to submit your work for approval.

Once, very long ago, a production company was working on a series of teleplays that would be syndicated to various PBS stations.  So being the opportunist I am, I sent in a dark comedy about a guy who was out to shame the people who'd embarrassed him in high school.  Well, the script came back with a note from the "reader" who proceeded to tell me what a miserable hack I was, how I lacked any sort of writing talent, and even that because of my relentlessly grim tone -- regular readers of my work are now cued to utter "Huh?" -- I should never place my fingertips upon a keyboard ever again.

His justification for his "expert" opinion, as stated in his rejection letter to me, was that he had almost finished his semester of Rhetoric 101.  Apparently, this gave this person all the skills required to save the literary world from my presence, except it didn't work.

Today, all a smart alec know-it-all needs as far as bully pulpits go is a blog ... and why are you staring at me like that and smiling?  I digress ...

Anyway, the only saving grace of this incident, aside from having another anecdote to collect, was that I didn't have to pay for the experience.

However, too many play "producers" consider their writers to be a revenue stream.  They don't charge their actors for auditioning.  They don't demand their directors pony up to get the nod to spearhead the production.  But they demand the playwrights send a check along with their submission.  Why?

Because they know we're hungry, and insecure, enough to pay the money.

Terms like "exposure" and "prestige" are tossed about like a certain John Chapman used to toss apple seeds.  As a buddy once told me, that and a fin will get you a coffee at Starbuck's.

The fact is that this is unfair as can be.  Unless it's an electronic submission, we will invest the cost of photocopying and postage on top of any extortion levied in the form of "fees." 

Now I'm not talking about contests that charge an entry fee.  That's a whole 'nother consideration because you are told up front what your potential investment  could score and you know it's for whatever prizes.  However, many companies will offer prizes and royalties without billing the writer for it.  That's because they know how to properly run a theater company.  Can you say "sponsors?" 

If a company levies a $25.00 fee and I send in fifty, shouldn't my odds of being produced be twice as good as anyone else's?

Many of us will contact the producers who participate in this odious practice to reasonably try to educate them in the error of their ways.  Many of the companies will change their policies.  But too many will not and they are too greedy or morally numb to care why we object.

The playwright puts as much effort into his or her share of the production as any member of the theater, perhaps more.  Writing, rewriting, crafting, marketing, more rewriting, researching, staging readings, still more rewriting, it's all a part of the process.  It's done because we want it done right and we realize that our words are the foundation to any production.  Without our scripts, it's all improv ... or a darkened theater.

The Dramatists Guild disapproves of charging fees.  Every working playwright should be proud enough of their craft to do so also.

What do you think?  Would you pay to have your work produced by someone else?